"Mama-spoiled black man, will you mature with me? Culture-bearing black woman, whose culture are you bearing?" Tar Baby by Toni Morrison (p. 269)

Like I was saying in my last entry - there's something I like about Philly. I think there's so much there for me. When I was passing through one part of town, I asked my cousin if it was an historic place because I noted the railroad tracks through the street and the cobblestone road. She affirmed that it was and mentioned how the underground railroad went through there. I feel like I could gain so much in terms of learning about Black history from my family and their friends. I learn about Black history in general and family history. I also want to learn how to cook soul food and stuff from my cousin. I come away from talking to people knowing, even if it's just a tad bit, a bit of knowledge, nevertheless - historical, social, musical... just something. There's so much to be learned from our elders. I was watching something on - I think it was Howard University Television - about how the oral tradition is being lost on the young people in the Black community. It's true. I need to start talking to my relatives and learning more about our heritage.

Here's some news - I think my cousin said something about my great-grandmother, that her mom or or grandmom may have been white. Yikes! I don't know if that's true or not, but I think that'd be pretty interesting. I always jokingly deny having any white blood in me, though I really don't know. I'm gonna ask my grandpa or great uncle if they know what's the deal. If this ancestor was white, I wonder if she had blonde hair. Maybe that explains why I have a couple blonde hairs on my head. For reals, I have one or two hairs that are golden in color. But they're not visible unless I actually point it out.

So, yeah... I wanna start learning from the older people, see what they had to go through, like segregation and what not. Get their views on some things. Oh, one thing I did learn, which confirmed by accusation that all men are dogs... I was talking to my one cousin by marriage how all men are inherently dogs. And instead of refuting my male-bashing statement, he only agreed by saying that any men will cheat if he thinks he can get away with it. And then I was reading an article in an Essence magazine by a player that kind of went along with this line of thinking. Not very encouraging... "'... He just gets confused when it comes to women. With most everything else he thinks with his heart. But when it comes to women he thinks with his dick...'"(Tar Baby, p. 255)

Getting in touch with my roots... it's something long overdue. But better late than never. There's so much to be learned.

"He thought he was rescuing her from... them, the aliens, the people who in a mere three hundred years had killed a world millions of years old. From Micronesia to Liverpool, from Kentucky to Dresden, they killed everything they touched inlcuding their own coastlines, their own hills and forests. And even when some of them built something nice and human, they grew vicious protecting it from their own predatory children, let alone an outsider." (p. 269)